planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
