cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm at about main and main street
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
