I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
