Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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