What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
