She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
