I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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