how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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