Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
