Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
