Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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