I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
