i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
