Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
