She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
