I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
