All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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