Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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