Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize