i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
