Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
