I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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