Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
now i know why i became what i already was.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
