yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
