You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
