so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
