I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
