Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize