btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
