I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
