Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
