We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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