I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
