he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
