For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
