It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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