Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
These tits shall not be calmed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
