Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
