Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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