Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
