I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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