i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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