Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.

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(386): View more from Florida

I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife

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(231): View more from Michigan

A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.

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(646): View more from New York

it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there

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(858): View more from California

It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.

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(626): View more from California

I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Just puked most of my soul out..

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