My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
