Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
