guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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