I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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