didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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