i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
