Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
