"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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