New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My ass is underappreciated
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I want a musical about memes.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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