i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize