You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
