similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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