I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
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he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
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I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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