My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
