I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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