Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Two words: nipple clamps
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