I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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